Ten important lessons for wannabe commentators in IPL.
1. Any batsman who comes out to bat has excellent potential when he comes out to bat and is in form when he hits his first boundary.
2. If you were born in Australia you can hit the ball a long way, unless your name is Doug Bollinger.
3. If you dive and half stop the ball, it's bad fielding. If you let it go, it's a good shot.
4. If you can run two, you are quick between the wickets, even if you are VVS Laxman.
5. Ultra Slowmotion Cameras are the greatest invention in cricket after round balls.
6. If the batsman misses the ball its either a slower ball or a quicker delivery depending on where the keeper gathers it.
7. There are always big hitters to come in the pavilion.
8. Any new player coming into the team lends balance to the side, evening if he is only there because someone else has the loosies.
9. The same ball used in 50 over cricket ages faster and becomes an old ball in ten overs.
10. During a rain delay, it's a wonderful surprise than the crowd waits patiently after paying all that money to be there.
These basic laws and the ability to read the numbers at the bottom of the screen are about all you need to be a successful IPL commentator. The ability to keep a straight face to Sidhu's jokes is an added bonus.
So go on. There is a rich and successful career waiting for you.
Posted from WordPress for Android
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
An emotional Indian....
This IPL. is breaking my heart. Entertaining it might be but it just doesn't seem right.
How happy we were ten days back. On top of the world. India seemed one big family. Everyone was rejoicing together, crying in joy together, worshipping the team together. So touching it was to see Yuvraj crying in Kohli's arms, Harbhajan weeping in joy, Pathan carrying Sachin on his shoulders. The whole team was one, and we were one with them. We could feel the unity, the love and respect they had for each other, it went straight to our heart. A blessed moment.
And now, ten days later, its nowhere to be seen.
Sachin takes on Sehwag, Dhoni takes on Gambhir, three days after we became one, we have been divided by ten. Dhoni and Gambhir, they had spent an hour or more scripting a historical partnership, without one there was no other that day. They barely seemed to recognize each other three days later. Sachin and Sehwag didn't come out for the toss like two who had together done so much for so long,. Sachin was your idol wasn't he, Sehwag? Has a new team and a few crores changed that? Maybe not but it did not show.
Yes they are professionals. The game has to be played with hundred percent commitment, be it a club game. But the World Cup was not just a game was it? If it was, then why were you all in tears, why were we all in tears? What changed in three days?
Maybe the cameras never caught it. Maybe Zaheer did stop for a second and bow to the great man while running up to bowl to him, maybe Dhoni and Gambhir did for a second look at each other and their eyes must have welled up again. When Kohli hit a four, Bhajji must have had that smile of a proud elder brother. Behind the glitz and the glamour, how could they not remember. That they were a family, they were part of half a billion families all over India. It must all be the fault of those money chasing CEOs.
But why make us see you like this? Why let this 20-20 dogfight take away our moments of glory? Why couldn't we just savour it till we can savour it no more? I am an emotional Indian. I don't like this IPL circus.
How happy we were ten days back. On top of the world. India seemed one big family. Everyone was rejoicing together, crying in joy together, worshipping the team together. So touching it was to see Yuvraj crying in Kohli's arms, Harbhajan weeping in joy, Pathan carrying Sachin on his shoulders. The whole team was one, and we were one with them. We could feel the unity, the love and respect they had for each other, it went straight to our heart. A blessed moment.
And now, ten days later, its nowhere to be seen.
Sachin takes on Sehwag, Dhoni takes on Gambhir, three days after we became one, we have been divided by ten. Dhoni and Gambhir, they had spent an hour or more scripting a historical partnership, without one there was no other that day. They barely seemed to recognize each other three days later. Sachin and Sehwag didn't come out for the toss like two who had together done so much for so long,. Sachin was your idol wasn't he, Sehwag? Has a new team and a few crores changed that? Maybe not but it did not show.
Yes they are professionals. The game has to be played with hundred percent commitment, be it a club game. But the World Cup was not just a game was it? If it was, then why were you all in tears, why were we all in tears? What changed in three days?
Maybe the cameras never caught it. Maybe Zaheer did stop for a second and bow to the great man while running up to bowl to him, maybe Dhoni and Gambhir did for a second look at each other and their eyes must have welled up again. When Kohli hit a four, Bhajji must have had that smile of a proud elder brother. Behind the glitz and the glamour, how could they not remember. That they were a family, they were part of half a billion families all over India. It must all be the fault of those money chasing CEOs.
But why make us see you like this? Why let this 20-20 dogfight take away our moments of glory? Why couldn't we just savour it till we can savour it no more? I am an emotional Indian. I don't like this IPL circus.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
What are we?
It is a funny India these days. An old-fashioned old man fighting against corruption is the most happening person in cyberspace. Some foreign author has suggested that the father of our nation is gay and he might still have a wonderful Bharat darshan if he choses to come over. One day we celebrate our national team winning the world cup and the next day we cheer them fighting each other in the Ipl. Every politician seems corrupt but we really don't care.
Everyday seems to bring a new story. In a different sphere everyday we seem to be either making a fool of ourselves or gathering the praise of the entire world. Well, when more than 60% of 1.2million is below thirty, we shouldn't be expecting too much maturity should we. And when every single move you make can be retweeted by thousands and shared by hundreds, our mistakes rarely remain hidden.
We are a confused lot. We have understood that the western way is not as perfect as it seems, that our age old culture has complexes and narrow minded traditions we have to break free from, but we haven't found that middle path yet. We are just learning from trial and error. We are the generation in transition.
Will we be able to solve all those contradictions? We dream of our ideal partner as a traditional innocent girl and at the same time make Poonam Pandey the most searched name on the net. We have no hesitation paying the cop a few rupees to get home early but will stay awake all night in an anti corruption rally. Does freedom of expression override respect for elders? So many such questions. Who will answer them?
We seems to be in leaderless times. Entire revolutions seem to be taking place without any leadership of note. Maybe that's why everyone is running to social networking sites for opinions, for inspiration. And we seem to be doing pretty well other than a few incidents where we get collectively carried away. A little more maturity and we will be fine.
Everyday seems to bring a new story. In a different sphere everyday we seem to be either making a fool of ourselves or gathering the praise of the entire world. Well, when more than 60% of 1.2million is below thirty, we shouldn't be expecting too much maturity should we. And when every single move you make can be retweeted by thousands and shared by hundreds, our mistakes rarely remain hidden.
We are a confused lot. We have understood that the western way is not as perfect as it seems, that our age old culture has complexes and narrow minded traditions we have to break free from, but we haven't found that middle path yet. We are just learning from trial and error. We are the generation in transition.
Will we be able to solve all those contradictions? We dream of our ideal partner as a traditional innocent girl and at the same time make Poonam Pandey the most searched name on the net. We have no hesitation paying the cop a few rupees to get home early but will stay awake all night in an anti corruption rally. Does freedom of expression override respect for elders? So many such questions. Who will answer them?
We seems to be in leaderless times. Entire revolutions seem to be taking place without any leadership of note. Maybe that's why everyone is running to social networking sites for opinions, for inspiration. And we seem to be doing pretty well other than a few incidents where we get collectively carried away. A little more maturity and we will be fine.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Not saying anything new... but saying it none-the-less....
I don't remember how I started watching cricket. I do remember that I didn't start watching it because I was Indian, I became an Indian watching cricket. Before GDP or LOC made sense, cricket was where a national identity was formed. India used to be that team in blue, fighting other countries with bat and ball. And an Indian was Sachin Tendulkar. Twenty something years later, still is.
The rest of the team reminded us of what the history of our country taught us, of great abilities and heroic deeds, but never consistent enough, never great enough to be held in awe by the rest of the world. Easily trodden upon by those stronger, those better than us. Good enough to win the occasional battle but never enough to win the war. A team much lesser than the sum of its parts. but Sachin was different. Sachin was the one dominating all those trying to bring him down, blessed with immense ability, giving his everything to the cause. And he was successful, rich, respected and aroused passions like no-one else could. He epitomized what every little man wanted to grow up and become. The ideal Indian. He was someone the whole world feared. Even his enemies respected him and made way for him.
For a whole decade growing up, the cricket team consisted of one man trying to outperform himself to compensate for the inabilities of his team-mates. While India was getting to grips with competition in all fields of life, Sachin reminded us of the possibilities within us. While the team's failures, even with Sachin performing or whenever he fails reminding us that we still have a long way to go as a unit on the field, as a country as a whole. Sachin represented what we can achieve. he also reminded us of how less we had achieved. His dedication, his willingness to toil hard for that little bit extra showing up the rest of us. India lost more than it won, as it has done all throughout history. but Sachin gave us hope. Those brilliant innings at Sharjah, where he single-handedly walloped the Australians, gave us our first glimpses of the power of the Indian. Our first example that we could also be the best in the world. If he could, so could others out of a billion.
I had reached my teens. and so had millions of other Indians. The confidence that Sachin gave the nation began to rub on to others. The team started getting better. Confident, strong individuals with talent began to play alongside him. the Gangulys and the Dravids came and began showing the world that others could also do what the great man can, even though not as good as him. We gave as good as we got. The world had begun to take note of our nation both on the cricket pitch and outside. India as a nation was making its voice heard in all spheres of life. Hope was starting to give way to confidence. While the great man just kept on performing. Getting better and better with every challenge faced. unruffled by the God like adulation he receives, teaching us lesson after lesson of greatness.
Lessons that millions of young men and women were learning and practicing in various spheres of life. India had grown into a strong wiled adult that could stand shoulder to shoulder with the world. Soon the team began filling up of young men who had revered Sachin as kids. Indians who believed that anything was possible and had the confidence to go out and fight for what they believed in. Confidence in which Sachin played no small part. Cocky aggressive young men with loads of talent like Zaheer and Yuvraj had arrived while the Dravids and Gangulys had matured. We could now be called world beaters, though greatness was still reserved for one man. By now sachin had made almost every individual record his own, and individually had nothing left to prove. But the lack of team glory was glaring in its absense, He was reaching the end of his glorious reign, and for a man who had always given his all for the team, it almost seemed to suffocate him.
Finally the tide has turned. More brilliant young cricketers have come in replacing the old. Only Sachin remains from the generation past. Some were not even born when sachin started playing. But the will of the man to persevere has reaped its just rewards. Sachin has been playing for the team for twenty two years. Now the team plays for Sachin. And they have given him the greatest gift the man has ever wanted, the greatest gift that an entire nation has prayed for Sachin to get. the World Cup, the pinnacle of cricketing glory is now Sachin's. It seems we, as a nation, has at last shredded away the chains of a docile past and are racing into a dominating future.
Tomorrow when India emerges victorious in battles other than cricket, as is our wont these days, let us not forget the contribution of Sachin Tendulkar. Let us not just see him as a cricketing icon, but the man who shaped an entire generation. And all that by hitting a leather ball with a wooden bat. Respect.
The rest of the team reminded us of what the history of our country taught us, of great abilities and heroic deeds, but never consistent enough, never great enough to be held in awe by the rest of the world. Easily trodden upon by those stronger, those better than us. Good enough to win the occasional battle but never enough to win the war. A team much lesser than the sum of its parts. but Sachin was different. Sachin was the one dominating all those trying to bring him down, blessed with immense ability, giving his everything to the cause. And he was successful, rich, respected and aroused passions like no-one else could. He epitomized what every little man wanted to grow up and become. The ideal Indian. He was someone the whole world feared. Even his enemies respected him and made way for him.
For a whole decade growing up, the cricket team consisted of one man trying to outperform himself to compensate for the inabilities of his team-mates. While India was getting to grips with competition in all fields of life, Sachin reminded us of the possibilities within us. While the team's failures, even with Sachin performing or whenever he fails reminding us that we still have a long way to go as a unit on the field, as a country as a whole. Sachin represented what we can achieve. he also reminded us of how less we had achieved. His dedication, his willingness to toil hard for that little bit extra showing up the rest of us. India lost more than it won, as it has done all throughout history. but Sachin gave us hope. Those brilliant innings at Sharjah, where he single-handedly walloped the Australians, gave us our first glimpses of the power of the Indian. Our first example that we could also be the best in the world. If he could, so could others out of a billion.
I had reached my teens. and so had millions of other Indians. The confidence that Sachin gave the nation began to rub on to others. The team started getting better. Confident, strong individuals with talent began to play alongside him. the Gangulys and the Dravids came and began showing the world that others could also do what the great man can, even though not as good as him. We gave as good as we got. The world had begun to take note of our nation both on the cricket pitch and outside. India as a nation was making its voice heard in all spheres of life. Hope was starting to give way to confidence. While the great man just kept on performing. Getting better and better with every challenge faced. unruffled by the God like adulation he receives, teaching us lesson after lesson of greatness.
Lessons that millions of young men and women were learning and practicing in various spheres of life. India had grown into a strong wiled adult that could stand shoulder to shoulder with the world. Soon the team began filling up of young men who had revered Sachin as kids. Indians who believed that anything was possible and had the confidence to go out and fight for what they believed in. Confidence in which Sachin played no small part. Cocky aggressive young men with loads of talent like Zaheer and Yuvraj had arrived while the Dravids and Gangulys had matured. We could now be called world beaters, though greatness was still reserved for one man. By now sachin had made almost every individual record his own, and individually had nothing left to prove. But the lack of team glory was glaring in its absense, He was reaching the end of his glorious reign, and for a man who had always given his all for the team, it almost seemed to suffocate him.
Finally the tide has turned. More brilliant young cricketers have come in replacing the old. Only Sachin remains from the generation past. Some were not even born when sachin started playing. But the will of the man to persevere has reaped its just rewards. Sachin has been playing for the team for twenty two years. Now the team plays for Sachin. And they have given him the greatest gift the man has ever wanted, the greatest gift that an entire nation has prayed for Sachin to get. the World Cup, the pinnacle of cricketing glory is now Sachin's. It seems we, as a nation, has at last shredded away the chains of a docile past and are racing into a dominating future.
Tomorrow when India emerges victorious in battles other than cricket, as is our wont these days, let us not forget the contribution of Sachin Tendulkar. Let us not just see him as a cricketing icon, but the man who shaped an entire generation. And all that by hitting a leather ball with a wooden bat. Respect.
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