I am pissed off. Terribly royally pissed off. I stood by and watched when they destroyed it one by one. But now I am stronger. I can take it no more....
Their first attack was on the mouse. That cute little thing with big ears that Tom used to catch called Jerry. They took it and replaced it with a plastic blob with two buttons. Could have called it a rat, couldnt they. But I forgave them. Atleast they didnt call a keyboard a cat....
And they came that man Mr Gates. I bet he was tortured as a kid for his surname. Else why would he call that bland program Windows. Its supposed to let in fresh air, with beautiful hilltops in the background. Not error messages and black screens. Not fair....
The guts of these men. Did Edison call his light bulb a sun, or Marconi call his telephone a mouth. They knew how to respect a language. Not these computer freaks. And we the common man got too dazzled with the technology to care. And look where we ended up. A net no longer catches fish, spiders have lost ownership of the web, a tablet no longer cures you and soon a cloud will no longer cause any rainfall. And still nobody cares....
This lament will not be complete without alluding to one man. One Mr Jobs. The sadist stole from us the one thing that kept the doctor away. At least the blackberry is black. The apple neither red nor green is white. Heights I say....
But why this sudden revolt, this outburst of anger you may ask. Well not to be undone by the other big guns, Google has decieded to take away from us the one thing we thought would always be safe. ICECREAM. A tear in my eye. This is our last chance I say. Rise up and revolt....
Before it is too late....
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
The year that was..... before it goes away....
It’s that time of the year when time is running out on the year. So it’s time for a year end review. Especially as my Mayan and Aztec friends keep telling me that I might not get a chance next year. So I guess I will spend some time on this one.
For a year supposed to end with our final new year, there was a distinct lack of happiness this year.
What with the rich rich west out with their fiscal begging bowls in the name of financial crisis after crisis. Countries rich all through their not so long history trying to grapple with new found poverty, begging and borrowing from each other as the developing world looks on. “Hey these are the guys who stole our wealth. Now when we want it back, they have squandered it all away” cries the Asians and the Africans. After just getting comfortable with a world without too much communism, capitalism is beginning to look just as bad. So much for America leading the world. Mr Obama gets nightmares of China asking for its money back these days. Europe, with all their shows of unity and common policy, now look like small kids fighting over loose change. The Germans as usual the biggest bully.
Japan was never a happy country, things just got sadder with earthquakes, tsunamis and nuclear disasters. Well it was only a matter of time before all that technology would come back to bite them in the head. I feel for them. All those Sonys and Toyotas are of no use when disaster strikes. Luckily they had shifted all their factories to China a long time back or we might have ended up with Micromax making TVs and cars. South Korea seems to be doing pretty well. Samsung is being said in the same breath as Apple. Hyundai with Toyota. The death of that dictator in the north would have helped.
Talking of deaths, it’s been a pretty bad year for dictators and evil maniacs. Really bad men like Osama and Gaddafi killed by not really that good Western forces. Those who have suffered still suffer. But CNN and BBC tell us the world is a better place. Assange is too broke to tell us any different. Kim of Korea, for all the dastardly acts of his, lived and died at a ripe old age. So unfair it seems. A few good men died too. That good man Steve Jobs died early with a lot more ipods and pads still left in him. A terrible loss. The jury is still out on the Sai Baba, but all those free operations must count for something.
Democratic revolutions abound, powered by disgruntled young men and women, driven by social media. This was the year of the birth of leaderless revolutions, in Egypt, in Tunisia, in Libya, in Wall Street (a country of its own somewhere in the US). No longer do we need strong individuals; all we need is popular web pages. The power of the internet was there to be seen as never before. With Facebook becoming more like Twitter, Google becoming more like Facebook and every literate in the world on at least one of these sites, it seems pretty easy to grab a lot of attention with very little effort. Ask that Madrasan who got drunk.
Comparatively a good year for India. The muddle of corruption has got us an anti corruption movement that seems destined to make a difference, no matter how small. Satyagraha and non violence has not gone out of fashion yet it seems. The next Gandhi named Rahul is here, but how bad can he be. Terrorism did not get any worse than before, the Pakistanis having issues of their own. We won a world cup in the only game we care about. A billion Indians cried out in joy as one Mr Sachin Tendulkar got his hands on the cricket world cup. The media is tainted but shamelessly plods on. Summers were hotter, winters remain colder, the rains poured heavier and everything is costlier. India inc. may not be sprinting ahead but at least has not stopped moving. Other than for the king of good times, the times look pretty okay. Lots of good movies released both in Hollywood and lots of good earners in Bollywood. Every Hollywood movie had the mandatory couple of Indians. Chetan Bhagat wrote the mandatory bad book. A Tamil song became the most happening in North India. And we had our first successful flash mob. Well done that!!
Looking forward to a pretty interesting 2012……
For a year supposed to end with our final new year, there was a distinct lack of happiness this year.
What with the rich rich west out with their fiscal begging bowls in the name of financial crisis after crisis. Countries rich all through their not so long history trying to grapple with new found poverty, begging and borrowing from each other as the developing world looks on. “Hey these are the guys who stole our wealth. Now when we want it back, they have squandered it all away” cries the Asians and the Africans. After just getting comfortable with a world without too much communism, capitalism is beginning to look just as bad. So much for America leading the world. Mr Obama gets nightmares of China asking for its money back these days. Europe, with all their shows of unity and common policy, now look like small kids fighting over loose change. The Germans as usual the biggest bully.
Japan was never a happy country, things just got sadder with earthquakes, tsunamis and nuclear disasters. Well it was only a matter of time before all that technology would come back to bite them in the head. I feel for them. All those Sonys and Toyotas are of no use when disaster strikes. Luckily they had shifted all their factories to China a long time back or we might have ended up with Micromax making TVs and cars. South Korea seems to be doing pretty well. Samsung is being said in the same breath as Apple. Hyundai with Toyota. The death of that dictator in the north would have helped.
Talking of deaths, it’s been a pretty bad year for dictators and evil maniacs. Really bad men like Osama and Gaddafi killed by not really that good Western forces. Those who have suffered still suffer. But CNN and BBC tell us the world is a better place. Assange is too broke to tell us any different. Kim of Korea, for all the dastardly acts of his, lived and died at a ripe old age. So unfair it seems. A few good men died too. That good man Steve Jobs died early with a lot more ipods and pads still left in him. A terrible loss. The jury is still out on the Sai Baba, but all those free operations must count for something.
Democratic revolutions abound, powered by disgruntled young men and women, driven by social media. This was the year of the birth of leaderless revolutions, in Egypt, in Tunisia, in Libya, in Wall Street (a country of its own somewhere in the US). No longer do we need strong individuals; all we need is popular web pages. The power of the internet was there to be seen as never before. With Facebook becoming more like Twitter, Google becoming more like Facebook and every literate in the world on at least one of these sites, it seems pretty easy to grab a lot of attention with very little effort. Ask that Madrasan who got drunk.
Comparatively a good year for India. The muddle of corruption has got us an anti corruption movement that seems destined to make a difference, no matter how small. Satyagraha and non violence has not gone out of fashion yet it seems. The next Gandhi named Rahul is here, but how bad can he be. Terrorism did not get any worse than before, the Pakistanis having issues of their own. We won a world cup in the only game we care about. A billion Indians cried out in joy as one Mr Sachin Tendulkar got his hands on the cricket world cup. The media is tainted but shamelessly plods on. Summers were hotter, winters remain colder, the rains poured heavier and everything is costlier. India inc. may not be sprinting ahead but at least has not stopped moving. Other than for the king of good times, the times look pretty okay. Lots of good movies released both in Hollywood and lots of good earners in Bollywood. Every Hollywood movie had the mandatory couple of Indians. Chetan Bhagat wrote the mandatory bad book. A Tamil song became the most happening in North India. And we had our first successful flash mob. Well done that!!
Looking forward to a pretty interesting 2012……
Sunday, September 25, 2011
MBA – work in progress
So I am finally done with one trimester of my MBA. That's one done, five more to go. And one has already taken a lot out of me.
Education is about building character. No, I didn't say that. Some wise guy did, and I can bet my last rupee, that guy didn't study in India. Our system starting from kindergarten is so designed to cram that next question into our brain, whatever character we built up is just an innocent by-product. This post is not about how worthless the system is. It's about that feeling that at last, knowingly or unknowingly, I have ended up in a course where character is built. If not built, at least polished. It's a breath of fresh air.
It might just be that be that all postgraduate courses are that way. After twenty odd years of learning by rote, there is only so much differentiation you can do by asking students to do the same thing again. The students have got older, the teachers even older, the system has at last matured. But surely the course matters. The MBA matters. And so does the institution.
Graduation was about a bunch of boys and girls coming together with uncluttered minds and undeveloped philosophies, trying to fight the system and be successful. At the same time you are developing opinions, judgements, moral codes, in short character. The idea is to build a foundation by which one can live the rest of one's life. The system is not going to help you other than give you a class to sit together in and mark sheets to compare your performance with others. You do it yourself and like it or not you come out as young men and women. And then you split.
And then a different set of young men and women come together for their post graduation and now the system all of a sudden finds an interest in your character. So now we have a group of ambitious individuals, with preformed opinions and predefined characters trying to make common cause, find common perspectives and build working professional relationships. And we are to be evaluated on it. When one's performance is linked not only by one's own abilities or effort, but by those who are around us, where groups and teams are made and broken every day to suit the occasion, evaluation is done of one's character.
Maths was never easy, but was easier. Putting X and Y in their rightful places might be difficult but at least they never had any opinions of their own. They never feel bad if you misplace them somewhere. Not so with people. Motors and computers might have complex mechanics and need deft technical understanding but at least they have a reset option. Or at least a power button. You could even give them a good old kick when no-one was watching. Not so with a group of guys and girls sitting together trying to piece out a report. Ones and zeroes might have their own complicated routes through high tech nano chips. But at least they never have mood swings.
Challenging, exhilarating even, but hard work. After almost two decades of trying to follow the golden rules of "listen in class, go home and study", it's not easy when you actually have to converse in class, when study is more about what life has taught you and less about the text book provided. We are not used to being dependant on others for our advancement (copying from thy neighbour in exams doesn't count!). All of a sudden it matters how nice a person we are, how patient, how adaptable we are. Understanding is no longer about some theory some genius made years ago; it's about where and how you stand right now. And all this has never been expected of us before. With no idea how and on what standards evaluation is done to start with, it's like fishing in the dark.
But we learn a lot. Learn, not study. The beautiful thing about understanding other human beings is that you end up learning a lot about yourself. When parts of the brain that have become vestigial for so long like imagination and foresight have to be dusted and used every day, you end up developing as a person. And it was about time that all important brain chip called memory that we have tortured for so long got some rest. When your judgements are vindicated, when your fallacies are highlighted, you end up adapting. By choice or subconsciously. To compete one hour and compromise the next, and yet go back home as good friends is indeed a challenge. More so for some than for others. To be liked by all, or loved by some, to like them all, or hate a few, management is like having to skip ones way through poodles of human emotions without getting your shoes wet. Be it teachers or your peers.
But of course, just to remind us this world isn't perfect, there is a splattering of theory papers, of copy from book, paste to brain subjects so that our poor memory chip doesn't feel left behind. And examinations, in the end come down to what you have in you, nobody else matters. But on the whole it is a good feeling. A tired brain, but a satisfied one. And the system can have its share of credit.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Get a life people….
A Madrasan wrote this-
http://bit.ly/nZv0M5
Then a Delhi boy in reply wrote this -
http://bit.ly/r7fRHx
Then we have another madrasan (i think) joinin in....
http://bit.ly/r3phW4
and another delhi boy... http://bit.ly/p9Ynho
Its open letter season and I wouldn't want to be left behind...
Dear all of India, or let's say the rest of the world too (if you can point out India on a map, you are included),
The Madrasan made me laugh. There has always been something about acrid humor than attracted me. I thought it was a joke. Suitably exaggerated, suitably sarcastic, suitably insulting to not be taken seriously. It did not matter if I agreed with her or not. But a few good blogs and a million tweets and posts later, the joke seems to be lost. So I feel entitled to make an opinion and I go ahead and read it once more. And yes, it's no longer so funny. And so now when the humor has dried off by the laws of diminishing returns (bless my MBA), the post seems vile, biased, racist, insensitive and what not. But what exactly was the point here.
Now, before I put myself on the pedestal here and berate us Indians for not being able to take a joke or laugh at ourselves, I have just realized we have common cause for unity here. We Indians, be it from the north, the south, or the top of the Vindhyas, we seem to genuinely take offence at every opportunity provided. Maybe it's just part of some grand master plan by our great leaders (the dead ones) to keep our great nation united or just genetic change brought out by ages of oppression or climate change or whatever, but we really need to see the lighter side of life.
So when I now read a brilliantly written article disagreeing with every alternate sentence of a hilariously written article, I fail to see the point. Wasn't it kind of obvious that being politically correct was not exactly the intention here? Can not a few insensitive comments be taken in the right spirit and laughed at and forgotten. It seemed pretty easy to me. Does that make me any less of a patriot or a family man? Does that make me a racist too? Now why would I ask myself that question? I would just turn the page and enjoy the smile while it lasts.
So the Madrasan is in Delhi, the Delhi boy is vegetarian and the Mad Momma is cute. Other than a whole lot of humor and some excellent writing that has my poor non-journalist pen burning in jealousy, I really did not find a lot of data to base an opinion on. So would it be presumptuous to assume that these are not meant to form opinion. So before someone calls it a battle cry for all south Indians to go up in arms against their racist northern neighbors or before the north Indians decide to man their battleships expecting imminent attack, let's just take a break. Excellent pieces of writing on a trivial issue as the north-south divide (don't fool yourself, it's not even raised during elections) are only so much. Good creative writing. Everybody has their own beliefs and opinions. It's hard enough to confirm to one's own opinions while writing, leave alone everybody else.
Laugh and tweet and like and post and live, why judge?
One more Indian in cyberspace....
Monday, May 2, 2011
As Osama sleeps....
So Osama is dead. I'll miss him. More than I'll miss the Sai Baba.
After all he is the most wanted guy in the world ever, wanted by the greatest power in the world. Didn't they just run over Afghanistan for him. While he has all this time been living a luxurious life in the heart of Pakistan. Hope he had sattelite TV. Can imagine a few old men sipping their black tea and having a good laugh over the latest BBC reports. Must have been one hell of a ego trip.
First the postmortem. I wonder what actually happened. Was the American intelligence actually good enough to capture him from under Pakistani noses. Or maybe the Pakistanis in the end ratted him out for a few extra billions to use against India. Or maybe he just got old and bored and decieded to go out with a bang before the Gaddafis took his throne. We will never know. Or maybe we will. With wikileaks we never know.
For me, it was completely unexpected. Had seen more chances of his beard catching fire than the Americans getting to him. But there is a sense of relief. A hope that the Americans having burnt the house to catch the rat will now stop messing up our neighbourhood. But is it really over. I doubt it.
In whose name will stories be told, posters printed or comments posted? In the name of the victor or the old man shot dead. When two bad guys fight each other, human nature will support the weaker, wont we? Will Osama end up a symbol of all the hatred the Americans have painstakingly collected over the years. Fertile breeding grounds for terrorists have been sown by the Americans themselves. Will a dead Osama be just the fertilizer they need to grow.
He was a terrorist, an evil person. But being so evil, he has brought out the evil in the rest of the world. When in todays world, humanity and freedom and the common man is ranked way below national security and strategic depth or even ideology, it's tempting to find him no worse than many others. It's a dangerous feeling, one that breeds violence.
Its difficult to believe that bullet in his head has just made the world a better place. Damage he has done is too permanent for that. Too much innocent blood has been shed, both by him and by those fighting him already. All I can think of is hope.
Some bad people just don't go to hell, they make wherever they go a hell.
Posted from WordPress for Android
After all he is the most wanted guy in the world ever, wanted by the greatest power in the world. Didn't they just run over Afghanistan for him. While he has all this time been living a luxurious life in the heart of Pakistan. Hope he had sattelite TV. Can imagine a few old men sipping their black tea and having a good laugh over the latest BBC reports. Must have been one hell of a ego trip.
First the postmortem. I wonder what actually happened. Was the American intelligence actually good enough to capture him from under Pakistani noses. Or maybe the Pakistanis in the end ratted him out for a few extra billions to use against India. Or maybe he just got old and bored and decieded to go out with a bang before the Gaddafis took his throne. We will never know. Or maybe we will. With wikileaks we never know.
For me, it was completely unexpected. Had seen more chances of his beard catching fire than the Americans getting to him. But there is a sense of relief. A hope that the Americans having burnt the house to catch the rat will now stop messing up our neighbourhood. But is it really over. I doubt it.
In whose name will stories be told, posters printed or comments posted? In the name of the victor or the old man shot dead. When two bad guys fight each other, human nature will support the weaker, wont we? Will Osama end up a symbol of all the hatred the Americans have painstakingly collected over the years. Fertile breeding grounds for terrorists have been sown by the Americans themselves. Will a dead Osama be just the fertilizer they need to grow.
He was a terrorist, an evil person. But being so evil, he has brought out the evil in the rest of the world. When in todays world, humanity and freedom and the common man is ranked way below national security and strategic depth or even ideology, it's tempting to find him no worse than many others. It's a dangerous feeling, one that breeds violence.
Its difficult to believe that bullet in his head has just made the world a better place. Damage he has done is too permanent for that. Too much innocent blood has been shed, both by him and by those fighting him already. All I can think of is hope.
Some bad people just don't go to hell, they make wherever they go a hell.
Posted from WordPress for Android
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Ten important lessons for wannabe commentators in IPL.
Ten important lessons for wannabe commentators in IPL.
1. Any batsman who comes out to bat has excellent potential when he comes out to bat and is in form when he hits his first boundary.
2. If you were born in Australia you can hit the ball a long way, unless your name is Doug Bollinger.
3. If you dive and half stop the ball, it's bad fielding. If you let it go, it's a good shot.
4. If you can run two, you are quick between the wickets, even if you are VVS Laxman.
5. Ultra Slowmotion Cameras are the greatest invention in cricket after round balls.
6. If the batsman misses the ball its either a slower ball or a quicker delivery depending on where the keeper gathers it.
7. There are always big hitters to come in the pavilion.
8. Any new player coming into the team lends balance to the side, evening if he is only there because someone else has the loosies.
9. The same ball used in 50 over cricket ages faster and becomes an old ball in ten overs.
10. During a rain delay, it's a wonderful surprise than the crowd waits patiently after paying all that money to be there.
These basic laws and the ability to read the numbers at the bottom of the screen are about all you need to be a successful IPL commentator. The ability to keep a straight face to Sidhu's jokes is an added bonus.
So go on. There is a rich and successful career waiting for you.
Posted from WordPress for Android
1. Any batsman who comes out to bat has excellent potential when he comes out to bat and is in form when he hits his first boundary.
2. If you were born in Australia you can hit the ball a long way, unless your name is Doug Bollinger.
3. If you dive and half stop the ball, it's bad fielding. If you let it go, it's a good shot.
4. If you can run two, you are quick between the wickets, even if you are VVS Laxman.
5. Ultra Slowmotion Cameras are the greatest invention in cricket after round balls.
6. If the batsman misses the ball its either a slower ball or a quicker delivery depending on where the keeper gathers it.
7. There are always big hitters to come in the pavilion.
8. Any new player coming into the team lends balance to the side, evening if he is only there because someone else has the loosies.
9. The same ball used in 50 over cricket ages faster and becomes an old ball in ten overs.
10. During a rain delay, it's a wonderful surprise than the crowd waits patiently after paying all that money to be there.
These basic laws and the ability to read the numbers at the bottom of the screen are about all you need to be a successful IPL commentator. The ability to keep a straight face to Sidhu's jokes is an added bonus.
So go on. There is a rich and successful career waiting for you.
Posted from WordPress for Android
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
An emotional Indian....
This IPL. is breaking my heart. Entertaining it might be but it just doesn't seem right.
How happy we were ten days back. On top of the world. India seemed one big family. Everyone was rejoicing together, crying in joy together, worshipping the team together. So touching it was to see Yuvraj crying in Kohli's arms, Harbhajan weeping in joy, Pathan carrying Sachin on his shoulders. The whole team was one, and we were one with them. We could feel the unity, the love and respect they had for each other, it went straight to our heart. A blessed moment.
And now, ten days later, its nowhere to be seen.
Sachin takes on Sehwag, Dhoni takes on Gambhir, three days after we became one, we have been divided by ten. Dhoni and Gambhir, they had spent an hour or more scripting a historical partnership, without one there was no other that day. They barely seemed to recognize each other three days later. Sachin and Sehwag didn't come out for the toss like two who had together done so much for so long,. Sachin was your idol wasn't he, Sehwag? Has a new team and a few crores changed that? Maybe not but it did not show.
Yes they are professionals. The game has to be played with hundred percent commitment, be it a club game. But the World Cup was not just a game was it? If it was, then why were you all in tears, why were we all in tears? What changed in three days?
Maybe the cameras never caught it. Maybe Zaheer did stop for a second and bow to the great man while running up to bowl to him, maybe Dhoni and Gambhir did for a second look at each other and their eyes must have welled up again. When Kohli hit a four, Bhajji must have had that smile of a proud elder brother. Behind the glitz and the glamour, how could they not remember. That they were a family, they were part of half a billion families all over India. It must all be the fault of those money chasing CEOs.
But why make us see you like this? Why let this 20-20 dogfight take away our moments of glory? Why couldn't we just savour it till we can savour it no more? I am an emotional Indian. I don't like this IPL circus.
How happy we were ten days back. On top of the world. India seemed one big family. Everyone was rejoicing together, crying in joy together, worshipping the team together. So touching it was to see Yuvraj crying in Kohli's arms, Harbhajan weeping in joy, Pathan carrying Sachin on his shoulders. The whole team was one, and we were one with them. We could feel the unity, the love and respect they had for each other, it went straight to our heart. A blessed moment.
And now, ten days later, its nowhere to be seen.
Sachin takes on Sehwag, Dhoni takes on Gambhir, three days after we became one, we have been divided by ten. Dhoni and Gambhir, they had spent an hour or more scripting a historical partnership, without one there was no other that day. They barely seemed to recognize each other three days later. Sachin and Sehwag didn't come out for the toss like two who had together done so much for so long,. Sachin was your idol wasn't he, Sehwag? Has a new team and a few crores changed that? Maybe not but it did not show.
Yes they are professionals. The game has to be played with hundred percent commitment, be it a club game. But the World Cup was not just a game was it? If it was, then why were you all in tears, why were we all in tears? What changed in three days?
Maybe the cameras never caught it. Maybe Zaheer did stop for a second and bow to the great man while running up to bowl to him, maybe Dhoni and Gambhir did for a second look at each other and their eyes must have welled up again. When Kohli hit a four, Bhajji must have had that smile of a proud elder brother. Behind the glitz and the glamour, how could they not remember. That they were a family, they were part of half a billion families all over India. It must all be the fault of those money chasing CEOs.
But why make us see you like this? Why let this 20-20 dogfight take away our moments of glory? Why couldn't we just savour it till we can savour it no more? I am an emotional Indian. I don't like this IPL circus.
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