The Prime Minister needs a job…

Not many people at the non descript pub in central Delhi noticed the old sardar sitting in the corner and quietly sipping some Italian wine. But this correspondent with a keen eye for detail recognized him instantly and went up to him to have a conversation. He was none other than Dr Manmohan Singh, the Prime Minister of our country.
“Good Evening sir, may I join you.”
[silence] (Confirmation that it is indeed Dr Singh.)
“Sir, what are you doing sitting here alone in this place without any of your security detail or party colleagues? Is something wrong?” [silence again]
I had to try a different tack.
“Sir, what do you have to say about the latest scam that has hit your party?”
At the word scam Dr Singh automatically sat upright and noticed me. In a voice sounding more like a recording, he broke his silence. “I was not aware of what was going on. I am not involved in any way. There is no need for me to resign.”

“Sir, I do not want you to resign. Can we just talk for sometime?”

“You don’t!! Well then, okay. Sit down.”

“But what about your security detail? How did you manage to evade them and come here?”

“Oh, that’s easier than you think. All I had to do was smile at them on the way out. They instantly thought it was some nephew of mine and let me leave. They haven’t seen me smile for 9 years you know. Even the auto driver was getting suspicious but I simply started talking to him. Even he knows that the PM of India doesn’t speak.”

“But won’t they question you when you get back?”

Dr Singh actually had a smirk on his face.

“Son, you underestimate me. Let them question. I will just keep silent. I might even tell them ‘I was not aware of what was going on. I am not involved in any way. There is no need for me to resign.’”

“But Sir…”
“Don’t worry young man. I barely recognize myself when I speak. Leave alone anyone else”

“But what are you doing here sir?”

“Oh I needed a quite place to ponder over some matters of grave importance.”

“The state of the country?”

“No, something more important. I was considering my employment options next year when I am dismissed from my current job. Surely you don’t think the Congress has any work for me when out of power?”

“No, but why don’t you retire and spend time relaxing at home?”

“What do you think I have been doing for nine years! A sardar gets bored being silent.”

“But sir, you are an eminent economist. You are supposed to have the best CV in India.”

“Yeah, but every employer will give maximum weightage to the last job. Even Einstein won’t be able to justify that. There are just no jobs matching my skill sets anymore. What a waste of all that studying and research. In fact, you know I googled my name just to check. The fact that I am an economist appears on the 13th page. I almost cried.”

“But surely there will be lots of options for you.”
“Where are the options? Even Big Boss refuses to have me on their show. Serials refuse to give me a role even though I can waste years for them. My agent tells me advertisers want moving actors and not posters anymore. The silent monks of Thailand, the ones in the Hangover movie did invite me, but they expect me to shave my hair.”

“Why don’t you start something on your own?”

“Oh I have exhausted all my ideas teaching that good for nothing Robert Vadra how to make money. I did think of buying an IPL team, but then my contract with the Congress does not allow me to invest my money back in India. Football is too violent for me, or else there were a few Italian football teams up for sale. In fact the best offer I got was from the Indian Association of the Deaf-Mute as president and CEO but when I asked about the money they refused to hear or speak.”

“But sir, you do have a lot of money.”

“Did you just say money? I repeat ‘I was not aware of what was going on. I am not involved in any way. There is no need for me to resign.’”

“That is okay sir. It has been a pleasure talking to you. I hope we will meet again the same way. By the way, do you mind if I publish
this conversation.”

Dr Singh guffaws loudly. He is genuinely laughing now.

“Son, go ahead and publish all you want. Nobody will believe I spoke so much and for so long. If anyone does care, I will just tell them that ‘I was not aware of what was going on. I am not involved in any way.